Dark. Cold. Suffocating. Entrapping me forever in the endless abyss. If there is an escape, I still have yet to find it. Searching endlessly, I find my hope is quickly dwindling down so that it is almost nonexistent. Light. Warm. Freeing. My soul longs for the feeling of security brought only by the opposite of where I am.
I blindly serve that which imprisons me; hoping, that one day, I will be able to break free. One day, I will no longer call the darkness my master. I will be able to love and be loved.
Ah! There it is…the light! So bright and blinding and warm and gloriously beautiful! It beckons me with open embrace to come and join it. Alas. As soon as I reach it, the light brightens with an intensity and it is so intense and so bright that it burns my eyes. Burning and burning and burning and pain exists and I'm trapped forever and forever and a day.
Tears are pouring and running and rushing down my cheeks. So empty and empty and unloved. Love. Love of a parent, love of a friend, love of anyone escapes me in this eternal chase. Running and running and running and running and I see no end, no escape from this nightmare. I remember my glimpse of light. So warm and beautiful and blinding and pure and wonderful and blinding and painful, so very painful.
An ache - a sharp throbbing - grows in my heart, slowly and gradually, more and more clearly and rapidly spreads into my soul and my mind, throughout my body until it is all I can do to just breathe, but barely even that. It throbs and hurts and is sharp and I want to scream. It is of loneliness. Helplessness. Hopelessness. And it consumes me. What worth have I to the light? I am of the darkness and live in the darkness and shall forever remain in the darkness.
HELP! I'M LOST! LOST AND DROWNING AND SUFFOCATING!
But who would help me when I am a child of darkness? If only they hadn't died, hadn't left me. Maybe then I wouldn't be sinking and falling and my heart wouldn't be dying and screaming and in agony. Agony. Torment. Pain.
Suffering. The demons in my mind are ceaseless. They cause me to suffer so much and so long. How much or how long I am unable to describe having forgotten what peace and serenity and hope feel like. They tell me of my uncleanliness, my unworthiness of the light.
The light comes again. This time it is faint and dim but there. I run and run and run toward it a familiar but forgotten flame building up inside me. Hope. As I run nearer, I recognize the flame of hope that has ignited inside my soul and heart. Nearer and nearer and nearer and nearer until I finally reach its border. My right hand reaches for the light and I enter it and it is warm and good and kind and loving and wonderful and glorious and comforting and peaceful.
I run deeper into the light away from the dark. My friends have been waiting for me here in this land of beautiful, beautiful light. It is now that I realize how far into the darkness of my mind I had been. I, Luke Skywalker, and been in deep. So deep.
Thank you for reading! And special thanks to Sue for suddenly deciding to beta it while we were chatting online. *LOL* First time I've had a story proofed. Well, I hope this met any pschological story needs. I know it isn't terribly long but...I couldn't think of anything to drag it out without repeating TOO much. . ^____^
~Empress Sarah-sama~
